Will We Ever Get There?
by Flowerfaires
Summary: 'After everything I had said and done he was standing there looking guilty full with wanting to be forgiven when it was I who needed to be forgiven. He truely was one of a kind'


Will We Ever Get There?

I sit here staring at him. I wonder if he knows that I am staring at him? He must know after all he is Tony DiNozzo one of the best agents of NCIS. I carry on staring at him I want to say something but what can I say? 'You risked your life for me why?' 'After everything I said to you'. I will never understand Tony that is probably why I like him so much he is the first person I have never been able to read! I can read Abby, McGee, Vance, Ducky, Jimmy and even Gibbs but not Tony. What is it about him that makes it so hard to read him. One moment he is acting like a four year old the next he is completely serious, sometimes I wonder if he ever shows his real side to the world or me.

As I sit here staring at him I think of all the things I have been told today.

_'He's not the only one you need to talk too' - Gibbs_

It was true what Gibbs had said I don't just need to get Gibbs blessing or talk to the director I need to get Tony's after everything that has happened between us and after everything he did.

That reminds me of what Abby had said to me next_ 'And after everything you accused him of, he risked his life to go save you' _it was forceful and so un-like Abby to be raising her voice but still she is right Tony had saved me from death and when I found out that he thought I was dead he still came, who would do that? I have never had anyone who would risk their life for me or come to get revenge on someone who had supposedly 'killed me' but there was Tony sitting there tied up with his usual smirk on his face as if what was going on between us and that we were about to die wasn't even happening.

I am still sat here at my desk looking at Tony when McGee caught my eye as if saying when are you going to speak to him. That brought back memories of our earlier discussion. _'The last three months have been a ... challenge, but that is all in the past and the past is the past' _I had said but what McGee had said really got me thinking. _'Is it?'_ to which I responded _'yes' _to only have him give me a question that I didn't have the answer to _'So why are you avoiding Tony?' _As I came out of the memory I asked myself that same question _'Why am I avoiding him? After everything he has put himself through for me?'_

That is when all the comments that I had recieved came and hit me like a shock wave. The reason I am avoiding Tony is because I wonder how anyone can care about me, can love me, love is something I have never been good with I have never responded to, maybe Tony is the one who has broken those walls that I have carried for so long.

That is when I came to my senses as I saw Tony get up I followed him into the one place I knew he would be the mens bathroom. I closed the door gently and just watched him sing that was until he noticed me.

_'How long have you been standing there'_ Tony asked me

Long enough to see that you are well hydrated after your time in the desert I responded.

_'Were you thinking of suprising me'_

_'I was not sure what to say'_

_'Are you sure it had to be said in the mens room?'_

_'I'm sure it had to be said'_

_'When you shot Micheal, I almost killed you where you stood'_ I said in all seriousness only to have him make humour of the situation that was creeping in. _'I wasn't standing'_ I looked at him as if to say I need to get this off my chest and can't we be serious for once. After we had said a few more words I decided to dig in deeper I don't know why I just knew that I needed to.

But that does not matter, like it does not matter how it worked out for Micheal' for him to respond _'So what does' _and I knew I would have to be completely honest with him so I said what I was thinking and feeling _'That you had my back that you have always had my back' _and that is when he looked at me closely, intently. I felt exposed like he could see me and hear what I was thinking, this feeling scared me. After all the things he could had said he said _'Sorry' _why was he sorry? After everything I had said and done he was standing there looking guilty full with wanting to be forgiven when it was I who needed to be forgiven. He truely was one of a kind!

And before I knew what I was doing I kissed him on the cheek and held onto it as long as possible when I slipped away I felt my feelings for him grow and I felt lonely again because I wasn't as close to him as I was previous seconds ago. Afterwards he left and I stood there thinking

_'Will we ever get there?'_


End file.
